Things Almost as Good as a Personality.

Aight so the girl you're looking to make your main trick is in your house. You know enough to be attracted to her but not enough to have a stimulating conversation. You could spend half an hour bouncing questions off of each other or go Carrot Top on her ass and pull out the props.

The weapon of choice for many is the acoustic guitar. The acoustic guitar has gotten more guys laid than roofies and bad parenting combined. You don't even have to be that good, bitches aint' know shit about music, just play a couple of chords and bob your head. Now look at her, smile, and put your head down to reposition your fingers.

Poetry. Poets are the most pretentious fuckers you will ever meet and they are everywhere. Get in them panties and rehearse a poem you wrote three years ago for somebody else. Make sure it rhymes and that it is untitled. There is a risk to be ran though. If she has poems, she'll recite them to you. As previously mentioned, poets are pretentious fuckers so neither of you will like each other's poems because yours are better and they don't "get it".

Laughing loudly. Fools got it in their heads that if you are the one laughing the loudest at something that they are both the only one to "really" get it and that they somehow contributed to the funny. Girls love guys that make them laugh and have been known to go for guys that laugh because if they're laughing they must be funny enough to make them laugh. Be wise, quiet it down to a chuckle and don't raise expectations.

A "Fight Club" DVD because who the fuck didn't like it? You'll both enjoy a movie you've both seen more than ten times and the movie provides some talking points. Like "What historical figure would you fight?" and then you both could pretend argue and she'll slap you softly. All that bullshit. The ending also contains enough semi-existential bullshit to make you seem interesting